Move over lemons, there's a new drop in town

The following is a bunch of pictures taken on an incredibly distressing night, but the plus side is that I learnt lime sugar and vodka go together very well......

Yeah all hail the lime! It was there for me when I needed it.

As was Lu. She really wanted this picture taken.

And this one.

This temptation was in my face all night. And I resisted. I am a Saint.

I'm lost. I'm lost. Please. I don't know if I made the worst decision last night. I don't know if I've just ruined any chance of being happy. I'm panicking and all I can think to do is write on here. I don't know what to do I don't know if I've ever been in this much pain.

Not done one of these in a while

It's been a fair while since I made my last blog. And a few minutes after posting that last one I was in the pub gulping down cider and black as if it were oxygen for my lungs.

I blamed the anxiety, it had lasted for four days which is feeble to some but I am not used to having periods that long without reaching for some self medication.  And self medicate I did. And boy did it feel great.

Yet again I have found myself drinking nearly every day. Last night I had three pints of lager to numb the pain of crying over someone I doubt will ever read this as they have little interest in me or my life. I know that sounds self-pitying but it's not, and I don't care anyway. Ok, three pints is not too much but as it has been creeping up slowly I want to get a handle on it again before I'm back to square one.

So I'm going sober for five days. A modest goal this time. I can drink again on Sunday. This day does count as I have two cans in the fridge that I would dearly love to drink as yet again I am crying over that very same person. But I won't. Not sure why. Because of some goal apparently.

Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope

Sorry, had enough. Tis the end of a very short and broken era. Goodbye health, hello fat cells.

Two Items of Clothing and The Final Taboo

I recently bought myself a few new items of clothing. The two below are my favourite. A strange bobbly jumper from Affleks that already needs sewing up, well it was in the sale. And a pretty summer dress from Oasis which, my brother kindly informs me, looks so much better on. And finally my housemate breaking that pesky taboo of eating chocolate cake that has been left by a previous customer. In his defense he broke off the chewed bit.

The Best of Times The Worst of Times: A Tale of Two Cities

I had a great time in London, maybe too good. (Harry I appear to have packed your remote control and still have a couple of your DVDs). See pics below.

Now back in Manchester not so good, waiting for it to stop to be honest. Headaches, apprehension, dread, vague sense of doom (Harry I apologise if I did anything to annoy/upset you or your friends), inability to concentrate, tense, irritable, blank mind that I'm trapped inside with this stupid fucking wriggling thing that won't FUCK OFF. 

I did break my non-drinking for London, no apologies, I never go to London to see my brother and I had a blow out. Sue me. Perhaps these are the after effects of that. Hope so. Anyway here are the pics.

A perfectly swirled London Latte

A perfectly coiffed London Harry

Harry's room (He told me he didn't mind me posting these pics)

Harry's room, note all the Naomi Watts pictures, possibly second only to Nicole Kidman

Me in Harry's mirror

The first glass of wine

Yup, a picture of me drinking on my blog of sobriety. People really should expect no less from this one.

Beautiful spot outside BFI

And again

Outside a little Italian restaurant where we got eyed up and offered drugs

Me demonstrating my fantastic camera phone skills outside an American diner

My new fur coat

Harry in my new fur coat

Harry's friend Sam in my new fur coat

I don't remember taking this one. You know that time after the night before when you find tens of photos of you looking generally confused? Well this is but one.

London's Calling

Tomorrow I am off to London Town to see my brother in his natural uni habitat for the very first time!! I'm very very excited, so excited in fact I just poked myself in the eye with a makeup sponge. Ouch.

As well as doing my requisite research at the BFI I have a list of things I want to do when in our capital, to which I have gone only a handful of times. Harry, take note.

Do at least one tourist-y thing. Whether that is taking a photo of Big Ben, standing amongst the pigeons of Trafalgar Square (having my picture taken), taking a picture from the London Eye, having my picture taken with one of those Beef Tomato Fellas. Obviously taking pictures features heavily in this one, I will accept almost anything apart from Buckingham Palace. Yawn.

Do one cultured thing. This could be an art gallery, a museum. Or may the the-at-er darling? I would love to see Les Miserables again but I doubt it is a) on with available tickets and b) affordable.

Do one consumerist thing. I want to buy a furry leopard print jacket from Camden Market!! I'm very specific on this so it may not materialise. Even so I want to do a little bit of shopping, if only to take advantage of a fashion student's expertise. The above picture is actually Alexander McQueen, if I can afford one of those then great. How much does McQueen normally go for Harry?

London Sushi. I have a strange idea that sushi in London will be better than any other sushi in England. I would like to put this to the test, even if we can only afford a couple of plates.

Posh Shopping. I reckon we should get ourselves dressed up and go into one posh shop where they have personal shoppers and glasses of champagne. If not, I will settle for a wander down London's famous shopping high street, whatever that may be. New Bond Street? I don't know.