Day Three - Feeling Strong

Just got back from Lu's and temptation was put in my twice. We went to the pub and then Lu got some strongbow to go home with, it's all about the strongbow! But I stuck to diet coke and tea and to be honest I didn't really feel tempted. Again I almost felt glad that I didn't *have* to have alcohol. I think I'm finding some inner strength!

Had a lovely chilled time at Lu's, she has a lovely new flat. Also had a great chat with the LQ lady, she told me I 'rocked the specs' so feeling good about my failing eyesight. I would post a pic but unfortunately I do not have the technical know-how to get pics from my phone onto the computer. Hang about, I just figured it out!

The LQ Lady

Time to put on my anti-itching cream and maybe some socks on my hands and turn in. Night all!

People are A-Moving

Last week I found out that my sister had got a new job in Manchester and will be moving in a month. Very exciting!

Today one of my closest friends has moved to Manchester and I am about to head out to meet her.

Lu is now a Manc lass!

 As well as this, two old friends from  Newcastle will be moving to Manchester this summer!!

It seems that Manchester is the place to be for 2011. The picture above is of Albert's Square. It is one of my favourite parts of Manchester and I look forward to many a summery walk round the fountain and lazy afternoons sitting outside one of the eateries that surround the square.

I do have one concern for the immediate present however. Now I have two people I'm very close to moving to Manchester will it mean that I find more excuses to drink? Last minute meet ups in the pub, someone to call for a drink after a stressful day, someone to cook for and therefore of course share a bottle of wine or three...

A friend of mine said to me today via one of the many social networking sites that she was glad I was questioning my relationship to alcohol. Even though I didn't think about it that way when I first started this blog (a whole 1 1/2 days ago!) I realise that that is something I do want to achieve from abstaining from drinking. I don't want the month to be over and for me to then return to my daily drinking, which may even get worse as I have been off it for so long.

What I really want to gain from this month is to re-teach myself what I actually love about my friends and family. And that is not the opportunity to drink more than I should, but for the conversations shared, advice given, timely hugs, and generally time spent in their company. If (after this month) one or two glasses of wine occasionally accompanies this then fine, but it should not become the reason for me to seek the company of loved ones.

Publishing Frenzy

This is the second monday in a row I have been finishing off chapters to be sent in for (hopeful) publicaton. Thought I should do a bit of plugging here.

Last week was a chapter on a French film Dans Ma Peau directed by the wonderful Marina De Van. My argument focused on the theorisation of female subjectivity, and how this film's exploration of this can be compared to the figure of the female werewolf.

This week is on another French film Irreversible (Gaspar Noe). I analyse the film by looking at both the visual stye and use of sound to argue that the noises in the film subvert the dominance of the gaze to allow for a critical reading of the rape scene rather than one that concludes with voyeurism and female objectification. If you are interested in issues of noise, affect and politics look out for the upcoming publication of Reverberations (edited by Michael Goddard, Paul Hegarty, and Ben Halligan) published by Continuum.

Oops

I think I do know why I feel blue. But I can't say. Because then the one person I want to be interested in all of this won't be able to read it.

This blogging thing is getting addictive.

Day Two - Feeling Blue

I shouldn't really. I've had a lovely morning with Jess (wish we could have more lazy Sundays like that :) ) and I've done my work and my exercises (I know that sounds a little rude but it's just a step machine and weights) and currently eating a healthy tuna salad in my room which smells nice as I have had a shower and liberally sprayed my impulse.

Ordinarily, if funds allow, which they currently do, I would be down the shop buying a four pack. Which would inevitably lead to an eight pack. Which could possibly lead to a midnight Domino's order. Which would without any doubt in a pug's mind (who are known for their undoubting-ness) would lead to a day spent in bed in absolute disgust with myself.

I wish I could go and watch telly in the lounge but there are people in there and I don't want to be seen.

I said I needed a place to whine!

Oh well, day two nearly over and not a drop yet.

Things I like that are not alcoholic

Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea and more Tea

Family and Friends...ok so this is in a pub but you know...

Cuteoverload.com This is a baby wombat

Watching/reading about horror films and calling it 'research'

PUGS!! This is what I will buy when I have my own place.

Of course, the Predator himself. Cower in his awesomeness.

First visit to a pub

I just went to the pub for brunch. Ordinarily I would have a pint even though it is not yet lunch time, and I'm really in no mood to drink, other than that I am awake and I can.

I had a delicious BLT and an OJ and am happy to report I didn't have any cravings at all, I was almost happy that I didn't have to buy myself a pint. Things are looking good :)

Day One - The half can strongbow test

The woman posting this photo has earned her Strongbow Time

Ok. This week I have ingested 3734 calories of alcohol which has cost me £32 (one may think that is rather cheap, I did get some of these drinks bought for me).

New start! I will lose the stone I've been wanting to lose for a long long time while thus proving to myself that I am not as addicted to alcohol as I fear. Although this addiction may be betrayed by the very fact I need to start a blog on it just to take my mind off the idea of nipping down to the bar, having a nice cold one, watching the golden stream of lager fall into my glass with a frothy finish....in short, I need a place to wine, I mean whine.

First day is gone. A friend of mine (Jess) came round and left half a can of strongbow on my desk. I picked it up and poured it down the sink after a couple of seconds of thinking about drinking it and starting this tomorrow.

That wasn't that difficult. I'm assuming it will get harder.

PS Jess is now worried she is going to look like an enabler, she may well be. No, I will not resent my friends for drinking around me, all I ask is that they don't encourage me to drink/offer to buy me a drink/ask me out for a drink etc.