Not done one of these in a while

It's been a fair while since I made my last blog. And a few minutes after posting that last one I was in the pub gulping down cider and black as if it were oxygen for my lungs.

I blamed the anxiety, it had lasted for four days which is feeble to some but I am not used to having periods that long without reaching for some self medication.  And self medicate I did. And boy did it feel great.

Yet again I have found myself drinking nearly every day. Last night I had three pints of lager to numb the pain of crying over someone I doubt will ever read this as they have little interest in me or my life. I know that sounds self-pitying but it's not, and I don't care anyway. Ok, three pints is not too much but as it has been creeping up slowly I want to get a handle on it again before I'm back to square one.

So I'm going sober for five days. A modest goal this time. I can drink again on Sunday. This day does count as I have two cans in the fridge that I would dearly love to drink as yet again I am crying over that very same person. But I won't. Not sure why. Because of some goal apparently.