I was going for counselling. There was a huge and busy waiting room and my boyfriend was there. I went to sit next to him. It was 10:45. Don't know if am or pm. His appointment wasn't until 12. He didn't know if he could get transport home then. I said he could come back to mine.
I went to tell the reception I was there. I didn't know who I was supposed to be seeing but I thought it would be the woman I'd seen before: Kaye something. That didn't ring a bell with the receptionist. He said the person I would be sent to was 18/19 and had just been employed by the agency straight out of school. I described the woman I had seen before, then she walked past and I said 'her!' It was actually Marina de Van. She was leaving and her name was nothing like Kaye. I thought that it would be a pain to have to tell someone new everything about myself again. Then I thought maybe it would be a good thing, new perspective.
I went to sit back next to my boyfriend who I noticed was wearing a baggy grey top. I told him I liked it. I didn't know what time my appointment was even though it said 11 on my card. So I rolled a cigarette and said as soon as I roll a cigarette I would be called in. I was.
I had to ask the receptionist which room I was in as I walked past. I was told room no. 3. I walked into the corridor and it was too dark to see the numbers on the doors. I knocked on one and was told to come in.
The counsellor was Jen, a friend of my sister's who recently got married. The room was the size of a large bedroom, and had a double bed in it. It also had a television and a huge bookshelf filled with books. She asked me to choose a chair. There were lots. The ones without anything on them were the kind of leathery swivel chairs you get in offices but something in the dream told me these were typical psychotherapy chairs. So I removed some laundry and shopping off a hard wooden chair and sat on that.
The counsellor was smoking. I said I didn't realise I could smoke in there and could I please go back to the waiting room to get my cigarette. I did and whilst I was there I noticed that my boyfriend had eaten 3/4 of a chocolate ganache tart that at some point I had bought myself. I told him 'you cheeky bastard' and he looked really upset.
I was back in the counsellors and she asked me if I wanted any weed. I think the word she used was dweebs but I knew what she meant. I said 'really?' not really wanting to. She said yes, but often patients didn't like it so maybe it was a bad idea. I asked her about the room, she said she lived there. I asked isn't it horrible living in a room that so many sad people tell you horrible things in. She said she had to stay connected with the school. She laughed and looked round and said, all I do is read.
She put the telly on. I got annoyed and asked her to turn it off because I would just get caught up in it and wouldn't say anything for the whole session. She turned it off and sat on the bed. I asked her if that was a counselling trick, meant to catch me off guard or something. She admitted it was something her mother always did.
Blank.
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