Tiddly Pom

Not that long ago I lost a jelly bean. Well, I suppose not completely lost, but it is not the jelly bean it once was.

Since then I have been suffering, at times, overwhelming feelings of guilt, then anger, then back to guilt, then fear, then rationality, then anger, guilt and fear all over again.

Not at all linked to the loss of this jelly bean, not that I can fathom anyways, is the random feeling of wanting to swim in a river. Today I was with some friends, and they were talking, and all I could do was listen to my own mind which was telling me how much I wanted to swim in a river.

Maybe linked to this is the stress of singing a song, a song I don't know the words to and do not know if I will finish, but currently my state of mind depends on my confidence of finishing it. And finishing it in a way that will make sense to myself and others. And not lead me to burn in hell.

So it's difficult to make sense of what I'm feeling, but right now it's all gobstoppers and parma violets.